Letter to my sisters: Self-Love & Sisterhood
The strength of a group of women is remarkable and magnanimous in the grand scheme of things. Women of different backgrounds and personalities fusing together to create something or a movement, or even be there to support a friend. The energy of that is nurturing and renewing. You cry, you laugh, you dance, you share stories. It’s life-changing.
A play I watched that reinforced this message was Ada: The Country. First of all, the name itself gave me chills. A woman as a country. Ah. If I was a country, what would I be like?
Ada: The Country is written by Titilope Sonuga the poet and writer (badass) and was produced by Lala Akindoju (also badass). It was an all-star cast consisting of Kate Henshaw, with the starring role. Supported by Patience Ozokwor, Joke Silva, my fave Bimbo Akintola, Chigul, Ade Laoye, Lala Akindoju, Oludara Egerton-Shyngle, and Oluchi Odii. Ayoola Ayolola (a fine ass) was the only male in the cast.
What’s the storyline?
After the loss of her baby in a fire, Ada leaves her husband in the city and moves to the village to be with her mother and sister in order to grieve in peace. She is later visited by her group of girlfriends, who come to the village to support and help nurture her back to wholeness.
In the midst of this reunion, the group of women which end up consisting of her mother and sister-in-law at the end share stories about love, romance, dating in Lagos, motherhood, sexual harassment, grief and grieving, you name it. The play eloquently consisted of most of the themes women experience being women.
What happens when women gather together?
And they heal by sharing their stories, by comforting each other, by nurturing each other and providing emotional support.
They heal by pouring into each other.
As a woman, it is not for you to carry the emotional burden of everyone around you. It is not your responsibility to grieve for others. It is not your job to suppress or dim your light because you are deemed ‘woman’. One of the messages of the play was the relationship between women and grief. Do we take time to heal or do we suck it up so we can cater to the needs of everyone around us. That is not what it is to be a woman. Ada makes it clear that it is the reason she left her marriage and came to the village to heal. She needed the time to do so before she could heal anyone else.
Women are healers.
As women, we tend to forget to pour into our own cup first. Our cup is the most important. If it isn’t filled, we wouldn’t be able to fill the cups of others, remember that.
To be Woman, an Empress, a Goddess is to be nurturing to self, a mother to self, soft with self. It is to be loving to self, to put the self first, to honour your intuition, to listen to your body, etc
Bimbo Akintola’s character was my favourite. A high powered lawyer in Lagos dealing with the top dogs, an Ivy League graduate, a feminist and vocal about her ‘revolutionary views’. In the same breath, she spoke about ways the patriarchal system could be dismantled through standing for herself in the workplace and sexing her revolutionary lover & husband when she went home. Key word: revolutionary. Meaning our feminist character had married a man that shared her political views or at least lovingly gave her space to be her full authentic self. In her words: ‘a feminist can have both!’
This moment as we all experience grief, and pain in various ways, I encourage all women to be different. Be more you. Revamp your personality, upgrade yourself for you. Let the masks you wear be authentic masks, speak your truth, exercise that throat chakra! Listen to your intuition, train your mind, exercise, read thrillers and romantic novels, and Women Who Run With The Wolves by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes.
Welcome to the evolved YOU